I seem to have offended the Bug gods in some egregious way.
They just will not leave me alone.
It feels like Egypt here with these creeper crawler plagues!

As a result, in the past week I have done the following:

– gone to war against THE ANTS

– vowed to lead a nationwide boycott if they ever make any movie
personifying and glorifying ANTS

– realized that they already did that.  It’s called ‘A Bug’s Life.’

– I then proceeded to have conflicting feelings on the subject, seeing as I love the movie and yet believe it to be a lie the size of Mount Everest.

Ants. Are. Not. Cute.

They don’t fall in love or invent ingenious contraptions.
They don’t join the circus.
And they most certainly don’t stay in their cozy little ant hill.

I’m beginning to feel a lot more sympathetic towards The Grasshoppers.

Anyways, I’ve tried the store-bought traps and sprays with very minimal success.
Plus, now that Julia is mobile, I just didn’t feel comfortable using them.

Many people had told me about using Borax and sugar,
so off I went on an internet search and found this gem of a tutorial:

Natural Ant Killer Blog

Now THAT is my kind of blog.

I set a few traps yesterday
and have already seen a considerable decrease in ants.
Although, on two separate occasions I’ve had the irrational fear that the ants may strike back.
You’re about to see just how certifiable I am.

The first instance occurred during one of my ant-watching episodes.
You see, I like to watch them stagger, die, explode, etc.
Whatever it takes to get them out of my house.
Now, to lure the ants into the trap,
you mix a little peanut butter with the sugar and borax.
Protein and sugar.
It’s sheer brilliance, really.
As I’ve said, later that morning I was gleefully watching the little suckers
go to town on the poison I’d set out for them…

…while eating a spoonful of peanut butter.


I’m not sure whether that’s ironic or evil or both.
All I know is that I had the peanut butter out and decided I wanted some.

Anyways, mid-spoonful, I was suddenly struck with the thought:
”what if THEY poisoned MY peanut butter?!”

But wait.  I’m not done being crazy.

This morning I came downstairs and poured myself a cup of coffee as usual.
Now, on the counter, there is a canister of sugar and a bowl of sugar/borax.
They look the same.
I fixed my coffee using the sugar from the canister, of course.
But something didn’t taste right,
and my first thought was not:
“oh, I haven’t added enough half & half”
My first thought was:

I told you I was certifiable.

The good news is the traps seem to be working.
And I’m a lot happier, even if I’m not sane.

And I’ve got a long way to go before I come to terms with the fact that God tells me to learn from the ants.
I especially love this translation of Proverbs 6:6:
”Consider the ant, you lazy bum. Watch its ways, and become wise.”

Can’t I just watch them from far off? 
That’s why I have National Geographic, right?

I’m hoping that since there will be no sin in heaven,
(and therefore no slothfulness)
maybe that means there will be no ants in heaven?

Happy Thursday!